do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
