dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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