Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
