You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
this hospital has no fireball
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
