mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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