Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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