that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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