It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
try to milk me bitch
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