K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
should my penis look like a turkey
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
