Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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