Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
