he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
