don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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