marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize