How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize