Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
