She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
