do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
