I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I fill condoms, not promises.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
