dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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