When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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