So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
