This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
