i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
