shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You dont lie about slip and slides
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
