do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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