every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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