so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
