I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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