Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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