isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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