Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
