This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
