hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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