marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
