I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
