Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize