If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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