Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
