don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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