I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
