I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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