i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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