More tranny stories later!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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