your thong is hanging out like whoa
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
