Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
