I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
