He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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