oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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