...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
