He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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