Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
