remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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