I just cut my nipple shaving
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize