It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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