I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
