I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
