Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you win again, gameday.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
