we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
