How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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