if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
