Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
