Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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